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- some people really enjoythe holidays. i'll tell you who doesn't:students. because they get stressed out.midterms are happening. so you know me,i'm always trying to help. i asked them if they sendme their homework questions, i'll help 'em'cause i have a segment, homeworker helperer. - [singing]a, b, c. easy as one, two, three.

as simple as do, re, mi. a, b, c. one, two, three. baby, you and me, girl. - no, no time. no time for fun.recess is over. here is the first questioni received. this is from jared altmarkfrom margate, florida. he says, "hi, ellen,this week we had to pick a topic

"for a research paper "with the theme'leadership and legacy.' "you were my first choice, "but as soon asi said your name, "my english teacher said,'not relevant.' "can you please tell her why you should bethe topic of my paper?" unbelievable, huh? i would like to knowyour teacher's name.

actually, no, no,it's not relevant. i don't need it. [audience oohs] [cheers and applause] and by the way,i'm not relevant, teacher whatever-your-name-is? how about 34 milliontwitter followers and, uh-- one right there. and 14 people's choice awards,how 'bout that right there?

27 emmy awards,how 'bout that right there? and two-time hostof the oscars. that right there. and "people magazine's"sexiest woman alive four years and counting. no. i--i made that last one up,but-- but there aremillions of people with my nameon their underwear.

so take that,whatever your name is. next question. the next questionis from annabell kranz from carmel, indiana. "dear ellen, in algebrathey always give us "the equation like'y=3/5x+7' "and then they ask usto find the 'x'. "so i circle the 'x' and iwrite 'it's write there.' "and i alwaysget the question wrong,

and i was wondering why." very funny, annabell. let's take a lookat what's wrong. okay. all right,you're saying that you're doingthe "y=3/5x+7." okay? all right,well, then you say, "find the 'x.'"

you circle the "x"right there, and you say, "it's write there." so... what you're doing wrongis obvious, but i'll point it outanyway. you are writingthe word "write" wrong. you're supposedto spell it "right." and then if you do that...

all of those a'swill come rolling in. next questionis from maddie hooford from dallas, texas. "dear ellen,i am a pre-nursing major. "i'm currently takinghuman anatomy. "it's the hardest classi've ever had to take. "i have to label every singlepart of the body, "including the veinsand muscles. "do you have any tipson how to memorize

the parts of the body?" maddie, visual aidshelp with memorization, and i'm gonnabring out someone who is too, too prettyfor college. nick, come on out here. how are you?- good. - nick, i'm glad you're back. nick was actually-- he had a partin "magic mike 2."

you were shootingthe sequel. - yeah. - got you a part in that. you're welcome.how'd that go? - it was amazing.it was a blast. - tell me all about it.- um... - well, we don't have time. um, just lose the shirt. i have to--i have to, um--

maddie, these right here, these are abdominal muscles. - right. - and most people have six, but nick has, like, 12 or 14or something like that. and show your triceps,show your triceps. - okay.- okay, see that? you can--you can tryto get them, except you won't.

these of course are boobies. and--i'm kidding. those arenot called "boobies." i know, they're called"pectorus ridiculousness" is what it's called. and, uh, this line,no one has that. i don't know what that is.that's ridic-- i guess if you spill somethingit just drips down. all right,turn around, nick.

okay, and, uh, this is, uh-- this is some kindof a note to me or something. these are, uh--these are delta burkes. and then, um... then, uh... just let everybody enjoythis part of you right now. there's that part. what's that?that's called the... [audience shouting]

all of that would work. all right, maddie,i hope that helps. if anyone hasany homework questions, please send them to me,and i send you this dance.

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